It’s impossible – or so the assumptions go – that perhaps she’s legitimately attracted to him, that attractiveness and desire are about more than just the accepted definitions of good looks.We get so hung up on beauty privilege, the halo effect, the value of facial symmetry and waist-to-hip ratios and the idea that only 20% of whomever get 80% of the fucking that we tend to ignore things that don’t fit the accepted narrative.I challenge you to visit any Latin club and watch the So clearly if you don’t look like a Greek God, the best option is to be insanely talented, right? Now allow me to spare you the immediate and obvious rejoinder: “So why’s Brad Pitt with Angelina Jolie instead of some nobody, then? Sure, there are millions of women who’d cheerfully murder a hobo for a chance to him…but how many do you suppose could actually put up with the lifestyle that his career requires?They work well with each other because they can understand the realities of what that relationship is going to mean.We’re a culture that places inordinate value on physical beauty.We associate good looks with talent, which is why everyone is so shocked and amazed that a frumpy woman like Susan Boyle can sing like an angel.The emphasis on physical beauty even over talent (see: most boy bands, idol singers, 99% of the winners of American Idol) means that most celebrities tend to be sexier than the average bear.
Other people are mystified by the appeal of Megan Fox or Anna Paquin or Kerry Washington or Morena Baccarin or Jordana Brewster.
Either you get complacent because you assume that you’re so far out of your partner’s league that he or she would do anything to jeopardize the relationship – and thus quickly find out just how wrong you are – or you become so convinced that your partner is going to realize that they could do better and drop you like a bad habit that you end up subconsciously pushing them away.
Here’s the cold hard truth: if someone is willing to date you – whether you’re a toad and she’s a goddess, or she’s a 5 and you’re a 10 – then league, you need to improve your ability to connect with them emotionally.
Of course, everyone on the Internet took this in without even blinking, accepting that people are complex and varied in their desires and understanding that attraction is a complicated beast. To judge by the collective outrage over the episode, you would’ve thought that Dunham had murdered Ned Stark while dressed as Hitler and simultaneously shooting kittens out of a cannon that was also on fire.
(credit: Jaguar PS / Shutterstock.com)" src=" width="333" height="500" srcset=" sizes="(max-width: 333px) 100vw, 333px" / Now, late to the party as I may be, I have to say that this does bring up the ever-popular topic of whether it’s possible to date someone who is “out of your league”.